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30 Days, 30 ways to improve your relationship - Part 3 of 3





Offer him a massage


Flowers are for men too


Get competative

In the first 2 parts of 30 Days, 30 ways to improve your relationship you learned among other things that kissing more often, being the first to apologize, asking about each other’s day and making eye contact during sex can improve your stale and predictable relationship. In part 3 of this 3 parts article you will learn that bragging about your guy, reminiscing together about happy shared times and sending flowers for no reason will help you turn back the clock to those early sexy and exiting days when you first became a couple.


1. Call him by a private nickname

Nicknames usually stem from lighthearted affection or playful teasing, but over time, they become even more valuable. That’s because they start to symbolize how long you’ve known each other – and how well. “Couples who have pet names and secret words are forming their own private world," says Amatenstein. And if you don’t have pet names for each other, make one up! You may feel silly at first, but rest assured it will give him the warm fuzzies every time you use it.

2. Reminisce

What’s worse than living in the past? Ignoring it altogether and never taking a moment to reflect on the happy times you’ve shared along the way. “Reminiscing together strengthens your bond and your sense of history together,” says Meyers. After all, the fact that you’ve been together for as long as you have can say a lot about how much you mean to each other and how well you know each other. Remember that B&B where you sat on that porch swing for hours on end? Remember the incredible gourmet meal you shared on your 30th birthday?

3. Grudges, be gone

On the flip side, accepting his apology can be a struggle, as well. You may say you’re ready to move on, all the while keeping your actual feelings bottled up. You may not believe that he’s being sincere, or maybe he’s apologizing for something that ruffled the balance of your trust. But saying you accept his apology too soon doesn’t benefit anyone, says Amatenstein: "Holding a grudge will make you bitter and push him away.” Instead, be clear about why you’re unsure and ease into a resolution; otherwise he’ll think you’re back to normal when the truth is, you’re not.

4. Reveal a sexual fantasy

Many women keep their fantasies to themselves because they’re too shy or embarrassed to reveal them even to a spouse. But that could be a mistake, says Kerner: “Fantasy can make familiar moves feel fresh and sexy.” Even incorporating a sexy scenario into your standard foreplay routine can make a huge difference, he explains. “It’s practically guaranteed to enhance arousal. Plus, couples who fantasize together also feel less judged by their partner and ultimately more connected.” That’s potentially a pretty substantial pay-off – but only if you’re willing to step out of your comfort zone.

5. Brag about your guy

Did your guy do something brag-worthy, like making you a gourmet dinner, getting a promotion at work or scoring a touchdown in his Sunday flag football game? Be his biggest cheerleader and shout it from the rooftops. And don’t be confused: Bragging isn’t necessarily about being conceited or smug. “Bragging about him in front of others makes him feel accepted and loved,” says Meyers. “He’ll beam with pride and feel closer to you as a result.” Think he’ll be embarrassed? Then remember that bragging about him when he’s not present, and telling him about it later, also counts.

6. Send flowers for no reason

That’s right: Flowers aren’t just for us ladies! Men may be teased a bit at the office for receiving roses, but inside most will just feel adored. You know your guy best, though, and flowers are just one example – any gift will do. Food gifts, such as cookie basket, are also a good bet. “Men are trained to give us flowers and little gifts,” says Amatenstein. “How appreciative he'll be to receive his own!" As an added advantage, showing him how good it feels may lead him to send you a gift back at some point, as well.

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7. Offer a massage

“Giving your partner a massage is a great way to let him indulge in the sensual pleasures of sex – and to surrender to the power of arousal,” explains Kerner. “A sexy massage may lead to sex or to a variety of different paths to gratification.” But if you really want to make him feel pampered, here’s the secret: Don’t ask for anything in exchange – not sex and not a reciprocated massage or anything else. Make it all about him. (It will be your turn another time).

8. Go to religious services together

Varying religious beliefs may be one of the most common causes for break-ups, even divorce, but the opposite is also true. “Studies have shown that sharing a belief in something outside oneself is a powerful marital glue,” says Amatenstein. “And couples who pray together are less likely to stray." So visit your church, synagogue or mosque together regularly to center yourselves as individuals and as a couple. Sermons, and even your spirituality as a whole, can lead to illuminating conversations about your morals and upbringing.

9. Get competitive (really)

Usually when you hear about game-playing in reference to relationships, it’s the bad kind of games – the scheming kind. But those aren’t the ones we’re talking about. In this case, the couple that plays together stays together: Scrabble, Boggle, Taboo, whichever may be your favorites. “Games provide a vehicle for fun competition that can spark a lot of exciting feelings between the two of you,” says Meyers. As long as there’s laughter, consider it a win.

10. Have an impromptu dance party for two

Long week? Let loose! Turning on some tunes, cranking up the volume and getting jiggy with it can break tension of all kinds for a twosome. It reintroduces silliness to your relationship and breaks down barriers, especially when things have reached the point of all seriousness all the time. “A dance party for two can be incredibly fun and sexy,” says Kerner. Feeling a little risqué? “Start fast and then end slow, removing a few items of clothing in between.” Sounds like a vote for “Sexual Healing!”Expand your communication: being partners in a car, mortgage payment or a bank account can sometimes make a long term relationship feel like a business arrangement. It was not so when you first met and fell in love. Then you could talk to each other about everything. So expand your communication with your partner beyond the day-to-day talk of who is going to get milk or who is taking the kids to school and try to have a real conversation with your partner whenever is possible.

The content for this article has been gathered from different online sources.


See all 13 articles in category Family and Relationships



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