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30 Days, 30 ways to improve your relationship - Part 1 of 3

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Hit the gym as a couple

 

Take a new risk in the bedroom

 

Leave him a note

 
After spending a lot of time together as a couple, your relationship can start to feel stale, predictable and boring. To bring back the excitement in your relationship, you need to make sure that you are stimulating your body, mind and emotions.This is Part 1 of 3 articles on 30 ways that can help you turn back the clock to those early sexy and exiting days when you first became a couple.

1. Get your adrenaline pumping

Adrenaline is like an aphrodisiac in relationships, especially when you’ve been together for years. It’s what infuses some oomph into otherwise ordinary days. “Sometimes things can start to feel stale and predictable in a long-term relationship,” says Seth Meyers, PsyD, author of Dr. Seth's Love Prescription: Overcome Relationship Repetition Syndrome and Find the Love You Deserve. “So make sure that you are stimulating your body, which, in turn, stimulates your mind and your emotions.” Give bungee jumping a go if you dare. Too extreme? How about horseback riding or go-karting? Or choose any other activity that you find exciting and gets your adrenaline going.

2. Send a sexy text

Send a sexy text to let your man know he’s on your mind when you’re apart. That’s right, it’s not just for politicians and celebrity athletes; it’s for couples in healthy relationships looking to have a little fun, too. “With technology-based infidelity in the news constantly,” explains sex expert Ian Kerner, Ph.D., contributor to GoodinBed.com, “it’s important to remember that sexting is a great way for committed couples to flirt with each other and make each other smile.” Anticipation is like mental foreplay that could lead to the physical kind, too.

3. Have a heart-to-heart talk

Does your marriage sometimes feel more like a business arrangement than a love affair? It’s not that surprising when you think about it: You’re most likely partners in a bank account, car or mortgage, or all of the above. But none of that serious stuff came into play when you first fell in love, so try to re-visit that tender pillow-talk stage whenever possible. “It's essential to have a real conversation at least once a week,” says Sherry Amatenstein, author of The Complete Marriage Counselor: Relationship-saving Advice from America's Top 50+ Couples Therapists and iVillage.com’s Dating Doyenne. You’ve got to expand your communication beyond “the day-to-day, ‘Are we out of milk?’ and ‘Whose turn is it to walk the dog?’”

4. Touch each other

Flirting and holding hands isn’t just for twosomes in new relationships; it can keep your bond sealed for the long haul. “Non-sexual intimacy, such as touch and holding hands, lays a foundation for sexual desire,” says Kerner. “Try giving each other a 20-second hug; it’s reputed to boost oxytocin levels – especially in women – and oxytocin is known as the cuddle hormone.” In other words, cuddling once can lead to cuddling again, which can lead to regular cuddling. And can you imagine his delight if you were to unexpectedly pinch his rear when no one else was looking? Try it and see where it goes!

5. Say thank you

Every couple knows the importance of saying “I love you.” But, believe it or not, those may not be the magic words your significant other is really longing to hear. “The number one way to improve your relationship is to make your partner feel consistently appreciated,” says Meyers. “And the surest way to do this is to say ‘thank you’ for the little things.” Did he take out the trash? Make dinner? Put his socks in the laundry basket? Let him know it wasn’t lost on you. Plus, there may be an added bonus in showing your appreciation: Forming new good habits.

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6. Make eye contact during sex

When you’re having sex, are you thinking about something, somewhere, or someone else? There’s nothing wrong with fantasy when he’s in on it (and occasionally when he isn’t). But closing your eyes can sometimes send the wrong message: You’re only present physically. Keeping your eyes open and looking directly into his reassures him that it’s him, and only him, who’s turning you on in that moment.

“Eye contact during sex reinforces the love-making aspect of sex,” says Kerner. “It also enhances the emotional intensity and sense of intimacy.”

7. Take a new risk in the bedroom

In a recent GoodinBed.com survey on bedroom boredom, nearly 60 percent of respondents said they wish their partner would suggest something new to mix up their between-the-sheets routine. “Couples generally lock into a few things that they know work and stop experimenting,” explains Kerner. “But the brain is the biggest sex organ and anytime you try something new, you’re stimulating the brain’s natural desire for novelty.” Some ideas? Try out role-playing, a game of dress-up or give it a go with a sex toy.

8. Work out together

Hitting the gym as a couple isn’t only about finding extra time to be together: Being fitness buddies is also a great way to show each other support and encouragement while getting in better physical shape and feeling healthier all around. It even implies that you hope to live a long life in each other’s company. “Working out together gives you a common goal,” says Amatenstein. “The couple that sweats together stays together!" Plus, the gym is hot and increases your heart rate, not to mention your libido.

9. Leave him a note

Jot down a quick thought on a small piece of paper and slip it into the shirt he’s planning to wear tomorrow – or in his lunch or briefcase. When he finds it, he’ll certainly be thinking about you. “Who doesn't like a little reminder that he's special?” says Amatenstein. Handwritten notes may feel old-fashioned, but because they’re not the norm it’s another reason why he’ll appreciate the gesture.

10. Ask him for advice

Want to give your guy an ego boost while showing him how much you respect him, all at the same time? It’s easy: Ask him to guide you through solving a problem you’re having at work or with a friend or family member. “People need to feel needed,” says Meyers. “And asking for help is a great way to show your partner that you depend on him in a healthy way.”

Requesting his assistance and support is sure to make him feel important, especially if you follow his advice and let him know it led to a favorable outcome.

 

Find out more tips in part 2 of this 3 parts article.

The content for this article has been gathered from different online sources.

See all 13 articles in category Family and Relationships

See all 13 articles in category Personal Development

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 

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